Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Perfection: the Enemy of Purpose

Although many of us have come to the conclusion that a meaningful life can only be achieved through meaningful work, I've sadly made the mistake of assuming this meaning is only achieved by people "changing the world" (e.g., the MLKs, Mandelas and Mother Teresas).

Through our work at Amal Academy, however, we are finding that it doesn't take Red-Cross-like organizations or Mother-Theresa-type leaders to make a difference.

For example, our Program Manager just conducted a survey for our Amal Career-Prep Fellowship, which I assumed would be pretty harsh, given that we had recently implemented a stricter homework and attendance policy, shifted the curriculum significantly and had also dropped a number of balls due to a transition in leadership. In other words, things weren't going well (in my mind), and we were really far from creating the type of meaning that (I felt) should lead to a fulfilled life. And yet, the survey completely shocked me:

The fellowship is very help full for me because now i feel confident. before joining the amal academy i was so confused and had no confidence. i can see the difference now as compared to my before joining the amal academy

From childhood till now, I never look out of box but this fellowship gave a confidence that you can do anything, any time but for that you have to be commited. best moments of my life

I am in the process of improving my confidence, this fellowship gave me courage to come out from my comfort zone and it was a big hurdle in my life. they actually taught me to believe in myself and made me realize how much my life stories are important to build a bridge between me and my career.

What the fellows are teaching us is that it doesn’t take much to make a difference. That although we might be fixated on creating perfect solutions and Gandhi-like personas, small investments can go a really long way.

And secondly it’s teaching us is that we often don’t realize what impact these small actions can have. We don’t recognize or appreciate that meaning can be created everywhere: through a smile, from a just-thinking-of-you email, by asking a stranger how they’re doing or remembering an acquaintance's name, even an unexpected 3 minute catch-up call or a Career-Prep Fellowship program that has major cracks. Just like beauty is in the eye of the beholder, meaning can be found and created everywhere, if only we take the time to look for / develop it.

In a world with some amazing heroes, it's easy to fall into the trap that we are insignificant, that the difference we can make is negligible and inconsequential and too far from perfect. But what if we challenged this quest for perfection? What would it look like if we started living each day as if it was filled with dozens of opportunities to make small (but possibly deep) differences? How might it change the way we interact with others, the risks that we take, the comfort zones we breach? And what would be the sum of all the meaning/beauty that we would be able to develop?

P.S. As it turns out, this is an idea that is compellingly explored by people like Drew Dudley in his TED talk about everyday acts of improving each other’s lives and Mark Bezos in his talk about not waiting to be a hero to get in the game. Even Viktor Frankl introduces this simple idea in Man's Search for Meaning as he explains (below) that "meaning can be found anywhere,"

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Developing happiness / coming home in an "unlikely place"

the Amal Academy Fellows during our first session together
Every year, on the eve of my birthday, I enjoy what many find to be the oddest movie tradition: the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Although I appreciate their skepticism, I've begun to think that perhaps the film somehow symbolizes home for me. Not because of the protagonist's name (although that might play a small part!), but because - in the words of Benjamin - the funny thing about coming home is that it looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You realise what's changed is you.

Watching the film last night, I realised that this line was particularly relevant this year, as I've been thinking a lot about the idea of home. And it's relationship to happiness. And how deeply my thoughts have changed about the two.

When I moved back "home" to California in 2011, I mistakenly assumed that home was a physical place, and that it should be synonymous with happiness. Which of course meant that I should automatically be happy moving back to California.

After nearly a year struggling through this deep misconception with family, friends and even in therapy, I eventually realised that perhaps home isn't a physical location at all, but rather a state of mind. Or, in the words of Pico Iyer, the place where you find yourself. Eventually I realised that I was spending so much time being nostalgic about the past or anticipating the future, that I was failing to live in the present. And as a result, failing to ever really understand myself.

Eventually I realised, in the words of Victor Frankl:

happiness cannot be pursued [like a physical place]; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself.
And in many ways, I think that's why I've been able to come closer to home and happiness in one of the most unlikely places.

Many people are often confused why we chose Pakistan as the home for Amal Academy, and the reality is, I don't always have a good answer. When I asked Jacqueline in early 2013 for her advice though, she said to "focus less on place as a start than on where you will have the best shot at making change." Reinforcing this idea that home is less about the location and more about the meaning that is found developed there. Less about what you find on the outside, and more about what you carry in the inside. Less about the soil and more about the soul.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Professor Greg Dees: A life that bent history itself.

Robert Kennedy once said, “Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events.” Although his life was cut short just a few weeks ago, Professor Greg Dees has undeniably bent the history of my own life and has radically changed more than just a small portion of events throughout the world.

During my first class with Professor Dees  "Social Entrepreneurship and Global Poverty" in the fall quarter of 2012 – he managed to introduce me to a very different side (perhaps the best side) of Stanford's Graduate School of Business. From the first day of class, he made it clear that this was to be an intimate community focused not only on critiquing development approaches  which is "what we are good at and trained to do"  but on "moving from tensions and problems into potential solutions, and re-framing the question in positive (action-oriented) ways."

Rather than discussing theories of change, he pressed us on what our own “personal theory of action” is, and personally encouraged me to explore launching a social enterprise in the education space. In one email, he wrote that "You are exploring an ambitious and challenging undertaking, but I have full faith in you.” I’ll never forget those last six words.

Professor Dees truly trusted and empowered his class. Despite his massive accomplishments – e.g., Business Week has called him “The man who defined social entrepreneurship” – he trusted us students to facilitate each (3 hour) class, without any guidance or input from him (unless we specifically requested it). He once told me over lunch (and reiterated several times in class) that he firmly believed “you should never do for people (including students) what they can do for themselves.” (An idea we are now trying to implement at Amal Academy in Pakistan).

Although Professor Dees is considered “the father of social enterprise education,” he was the type of person that was more concerned with “being interested not interesting.” For example, he was extremely quiet in class (he once even apologized over email for talking and taking up too much of our class time), but never failed to respond (at deep length) to our emails and coffee/lunch requests and would always send our class extremely thoughtful class summary emails (that were 2-3 pages long).

Author Maaza Mengiste writes that “Each of our stories pivot on a single moment; that short pause between what is and what could be.” Because of Professor Dees’ life of humility and immersion, I believe my story has pivoted several times.

The first moment was during my second course with Professor Dees, when he decided to compromise the class policy by allowing me to form a “team of one” (as he called it) so that I could explore the education sector in Pakistan. Professor Dees knew that this was an idea that I was passionate about and he believed in me enough to break his class policies (which he was typically super strict about). The second moment is when he helped Amal Academy get seed funding from the Center for Social Innovation, a program that Professor Dees helped launch in 1999.

Although his absence will be profoundly felt throughout the world, I find hope knowing that we are doing the work that he has inspired. And my prayer is that we can somehow find a way to bend history even in a fraction of the way that Professor Dees has (and still is).